Expecting Storyteller Gifts

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'She's just great with the children.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Where's Waldo? Where's Waldo? Peek-a-boo! There he is!"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Kirsten Johnson

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Name your sources."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.