Expecting Mother's Day Gifts

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

I like the Jets...I guess

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"They grow up so fast."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Lady of the Cake.