Expectant Parents Giggler Pillows

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

A baby playing on a grand piano

A mum trying to dry an excited child

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

At the baby oil factory.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

'Just Remember, Darling, you're eating for 60 now.'

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

"It was your idea to call him Christopher Robin!"

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

Some blind dates work out just fine.

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

The baby's really been moving round today.

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

'I guess I get a good deal. I give him the milk and he burps it over dad's shoulder.'

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

Where Box Turtles Come From

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

Your CV is rather thin...

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

'It's half past November, young man! Get back into your room and hibernate!'

'The fire brigade are on the way. But in the meantime, I'm totally posting this online.'

'I'm afraid your work insurance won't apply, Mrs. Ferguson -- you didn't have the baby during office hours.'

'Back so soon?'

"After trying to start a family for so long, our doctor suggested a radical approach. . . sex! On every conceivable occasion.""

"On second thoughts let's stay in tonight...now that we have another mouth to feed."

"It's a pregnancy stick...guess what?"

Tapeworm befriends umbilical cord,

'A young boxer'.

Early Trigger Warning

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

Can you believe we're old enough to have kids taking sex-ed? No! Thank heavens they have a curriculum with all the choices. Although

Geder Reveal Party

"Got a call from your husband, somethin' about someone's water breaking."