Expectant Parent Giggler Pillows

Tapeworm befriends umbilical cord,

A baby playing on a grand piano

A mum trying to dry an excited child

Can't read 'SLOW'.

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

At the baby oil factory.

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

Some blind dates work out just fine.

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

'I guess I get a good deal. I give him the milk and he burps it over dad's shoulder.'

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

The baby's really been moving round today.

Where Box Turtles Come From

Your CV is rather thin...

'No, there's only one baby Mrs Kong, but it looks like a very big one!'

'The fire brigade are on the way. But in the meantime, I'm totally posting this online.'

'I'm afraid your work insurance won't apply, Mrs. Ferguson -- you didn't have the baby during office hours.'

'Believe me honey - YOU don't need to do the pelvic floor!!'

"After trying to start a family for so long, our doctor suggested a radical approach. . . sex! On every conceivable occasion.""

'A young boxer'.

'Back so soon?'

"It's a pregnancy stick...guess what?"

Early Trigger Warning

'Hey your hair is on backwards!'

'Yes, it's great to be pregnant, but a 22-months pregnancy is too long: I want to see my baby!'

Can you believe we're old enough to have kids taking sex-ed? No! Thank heavens they have a curriculum with all the choices. Although

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

Geder Reveal Party