Exorcism Gifts

'Mrs. Zegenzahn, I'm an expert on exorcising demons, devils and poltergeists, but insurance representatives? There's no remedy for that.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

The Environmentalist

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Rocking Witches.

Asking out a palm reader.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"You're solemates!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"This will be a tricky operation."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

Channelling on the Cheap

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Pie Filling Reader

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

I have taken over Sarahs body!

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!