Exodus Gifts

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

The fate of the emigrant

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

Trust

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"Lives in the basement and has yet to bring home a dime."

The Oxford Comma Coin

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."