Excel Virtuoso Gifts

STRIP Hambone: Spreadsheets made easy

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

Balancing two espresso martinis

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

Kitchen Tetris

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Ginger Baker.

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Lockdown Brain

Busking during a pandemic

"5...4...3...2..."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

Leonard Cohen

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Music Freak.

Remote work

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"If robots can replace workers, then they can replace students. So I created one for me. Now I can stay home all day and play video games."

'Pete plays truant, but keeps up with his lessons!'

"Force level 3 on those high-five's! That's my photon firing hand!"