Variable Virtuoso Gifts

The Tomb of the Unknown Quantity.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Poetry repairman

Writer

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

Leonard Cohen

"Turn down the bass."