Variable Virtuoso T-Shirts

The Tomb of the Unknown Quantity.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Writer

Poetry repairman

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

"Turn down the bass."