Vow Virtuoso T-Shirts

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"I now pronounce you 'romantically linked'."

"Let me remind you you're both under oath."

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

'Wait a minute -- aren't you going to read me my rights?'

'What do you mean, 'your bachelor party hasn't finished yet'?'

'Can we make this snappy? - He doesn't have much of an attention span.'

"Will you love and honor each other in good times and when the effects of the drugs and the alcohol wear off?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

Thesaurus Company

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

Writer

Poetry repairman