Vows Virtuoso T-Shirts

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

"Happy Anniversary. I remembered, of course! that day when we vowed "for better or worse"."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

Thesaurus Company

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Viola player coming through!"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Violin Player

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Trappist talk show.

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Bookworm group

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Hacksaw Violin.

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Trying cellos, too big!

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Leonard Cohen

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

Barbara Streisand

'And now, for your musical entertainment!'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."