Veteran Virtuoso T-Shirts

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"Whine and cheezed party."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Violin Player

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Leonard Cohen

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Trying cellos, too big!

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Alexander Pope

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

Barbara Streisand

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

Recording Studio

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'And now, for your musical entertainment!'