Veteran Virtuoso T-Shirts

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Violin Player

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

Trying cellos, too big!

Alexander Pope

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

'And now, for your musical entertainment!'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."