Artistic Virtuoso T-Shirts

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

Artist and Musician

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"Viola player coming through!"

Violin Player

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

What your guitar says about you.

Hacksaw Violin.

Trying cellos, too big!

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Air Sitar.

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

Recording Studio

Two men creating themselves with a pencil and paintbrush.

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

'And now, for your musical entertainment!'

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

Pianist takes his bow whilst the singer carries on singing.

The Conductor

Man winding down a scroll of a musical score.

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'