Visual Virtuoso T-Shirts

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

Opticians

Artist and Musician

Thesaurus Company

"Whine and cheezed party."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Violin Player

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Office of quality assurance"

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Bookworm group

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

Hacksaw Violin.

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

Trying cellos, too big!

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

What your guitar says about you.

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

"You've got to give Hunter top marks for presentation."

Barbara Streisand

Recording Studio

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'