Value Virtuoso T-Shirts

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a play on words."

An informed voter is a good voter

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Coleridge'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

Wino Appreciation Group

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Writer

Poetry repairman

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Bring It On!