Investment Virtuoso T-Shirts

Don't panic!

Dear Sir, today I did something that will yield high returns, but is fiscally naughty.

'He's my 'greed coach'.'

Honest Vending

An informed voter is a good voter

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'All in favor of my idea say 'Aye.' All opposed, say 'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers' ten times real fast.'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"Office of quality assurance"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

Bring It On!

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'I'm afraid the motion has been carried and you lost.'

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

'It won't take bitcoins.'

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"You spend years waiting for any politician to pay you the slightest attention!"

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"take your best shot, counselor."

'Goodness Frank, where did all the mud come from?' - 'Election campaigns.'

'Innocent Mr Wilks? I'll be the judge of that.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'