Vote Virtuoso T-Shirts

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

An informed voter is a good voter

'I'm afraid the motion has been carried and you lost.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'All in favor of my idea say 'Aye.' All opposed, say 'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers' ten times real fast.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Poetry repairman

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Wino Appreciation Group

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Writer

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."