Voting Virtuoso T-Shirts

'Goodness Frank, where did all the mud come from?' - 'Election campaigns.'

"More absentee ballots."

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"

"You spend years waiting for any politician to pay you the slightest attention!"

'All in favor of my idea say 'Aye.' All opposed, say 'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers' ten times real fast.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

Honest Vending

An informed voter is a good voter

Thesaurus Company

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Bookworm group

'I'm a voice over artist.'

The Election Strategy

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'I'm afraid the motion has been carried and you lost.'

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

Leonard Cohen

Vote for Brown

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"