Ex-lover Gifts

Ex-Lover's Leap.

I waited for you

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Fossil record player.

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Colonial Larrysburg.

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"This woman's lib is getting beyond a joke!"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'Where Are They Now?'

Groovy Baby

'And do you, James, believe you deserved that beating Annie gave you for inviting your ex-girlfriend to the wedding.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'