Ex-lover Pillows

I waited for you

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

Fossil record player.

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Colonial Larrysburg.

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"This woman's lib is getting beyond a joke!"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

'Where Are They Now?'

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

Groovy Baby

'And do you, James, believe you deserved that beating Annie gave you for inviting your ex-girlfriend to the wedding.'

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."