Evolution Debate Gifts

'Ingredients: chicken, eggs ... Hey, the chicken DID come before the egg.'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I don't know which makes me happier: switching to natural gas to save money or watching the fight about fracking in order to get that gas."

'Palintology'

"What about commands that violate your moral code?"

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

Adam and Eve in tug of war with cavemen.

"'Why am I up here?' you ask! Let me give you a tip, bro; walking on land is the only way to go, if you want to avoid extinction!"

Gorillas in the jungle.

The Scones-Monkey Trial. Dear god-fearing jurors, I make a simple common-sense point: Of course man and monkey are not physically related. Have a look for yourself. Move to strike the example. Too late! They both stink. Hey!

Now, will someone pass me a whale?

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

"I like it, but let's replace the 'evolved from apes' bit with something more plausible - like a talking snake."

"I totally agree with you about capitalism, neo-colonialism, and globalization, but you really come down too hard on shopping."

Trophy head.

The two geologists lived only a stone's throw apart.

'Caesar, your Imperial Majesty, I'm afraid we cannot get the lions to eat these Creationists. It seems the beasts prefer their meat properly aged.'

'Evolution? You're suffering from delusions of grandeur. You were a born a monkey, are a monkey, and always will be a monkey.'

"I'm not religious-just anti-science."

'Dad, is this a movie about dinosaurs or Wall Street?'

Evolution

"Naw, they're not like us – they don't feel pain."

Early Fundamentalism: 'No way do we share a common ancestor.'

Indignitas - 'How dare you help me take my life!'

"This S.U.V. sports a flame-retardant, electro-static coating. Eco-activists can't burn it and their pamphlets and bumper stickers slide right off!"

"Religion gives us a reason to go to war to prove how much we love peace."

"How can your god be both intangible and male? Does he have an intangible penis?"

Corona Crisis Team: Finally Gets Real Experts!

'Why, yes! I'm staunchly pro-life!'

"Only three out of 16 million people may die from the side effects of this vaccine. My Jack was one of them."

"My barber says masks are useless."