Evidence Hoarder Gifts

"There's so much evidence we should put some aside for a different case."

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

James Russell Lowell

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

"Run! My laptop is so full of apps, downloads, old documents, screenshots and junk files, it's about to explode!"

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

Everyday is cyber Monday.

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"These investments aren't without risk. Your mailbox might explode with prospectuses."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"How can we tell if this old movie poster is valuable?"

Fantasy Football Awards: 'The trophy to the Monday morning quarterback with the widest end zone...'

Theories and Proofs.

"I save all my old computers, monitors and devices. I have a hard time letting go."

'It's come to out attention that you've been hoarding intellectual properties."