Everyday Life Observer Gifts

Chair massages.

Hand drying method for kids.

Fly-on-the-wall documentary

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"It's his emotional support animal."

Terry had a computer bug.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Life and Death

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

You trip on it, you buy it.

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

Down on Bourbon Street...

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

Maternity Hospital

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?