Contemporary Life Observer Gifts

More Nontraditional Family Units

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Life and Death

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

You trip on it, you buy it.

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

Down on Bourbon Street...

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

Maternity Hospital

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

Mice 25¢

Will Kill For Food

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

Street: The Magazine for Homeless People

"Please help! God struck me blind for not giving to a blind beggar."