Euphemism Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh that, that's our dealing room."

"Another alleged meeting of the Women's Institute?"

"Deidre's right. 'Challenging current dynamics' sounds better than SNAFU."

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

The Birds & The Bees

"Well, sweetie, Rover is on a 'planned vacation'."

"Our sales? They're...umm...off the chart!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"I don't think we want to be talking to the staff about 'redundancies'...It's such a harsh term, it would only cause panic!"

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."

"Good news gentlemen! We may even upsize!"

The Curse of Rhadamanthus (For Pete's Sake)

"Funny, I always thought 'downsizing' was just a euphemism euphemism for laying people off."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Police Feline Unit

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Do Not Resuscitate

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Cariactures

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Faster, Georges, faster!

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry