Aphorism Enthusiast Gifts

"I came by my wisdom the hard way. I wrote fortune cookie copy for thirty years."

This should be good. Ben Franklin and Confucius are having an aphorism contest!

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Humans...What is their purpose?

Reading my Critics

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

'The Questioner'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Pastorius wonders why.

Zenemies.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Arthur Schopenhauer

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

How world war III started.

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

Human rights

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'