Aphorism Enthusiasts Gifts

"I suppose there'll be no living with him now."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Reading my Critics

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

A Poem about Sand

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

"If he who hesitates is lost, why do we have to look before we leap?"

"Don't even think about it."

"now let's try one without the tusks."

'I understand night and day, but which came first?'

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

'I just think we should be together'.