Eulogy Enthusiasts Gifts

www.TedBdead.com

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

Shareholder's Meetings

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'I'm the one who sold King Tut his tomb. The commission was huge.'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

Closed Thursdays.

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."

'Dr. Vitsky, D.D.S. ... Yes, here you are. Go right on ahead through those pearly whites up there.'

'The last thing I remember is something about a 'once in a lifetime' offer.'

'They've been relocated because hell is full.'

Memorial Day

"It was heaven before this."

"I'm trying to call my boss to tell him I have to miss the meeting but I can't get any service."

"That brings us to your search history."

'Pig flu??!'

The Uncertainty of the Afterlife...

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

'We're not actually full, we just keep a line outside to make the place look good...'

'Yes, that's my final answer!'

"Just one more question - Do you prefer Monty Python or Benny Hill?"