Eulogy Enthusiasts Gifts

www.TedBdead.com

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Monument in the park for Squirrel Feeder

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

Shareholder's Meetings

"That's perfect! The bloody door is too small!"

'Beat it'

"He was a top boy - he could light up a room just by setting fire to it."

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'I'm the one who sold King Tut his tomb. The commission was huge.'

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

Closed Thursdays.

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'The last thing I remember is something about a 'once in a lifetime' offer.'

Heavenly Security.

'Dr. Vitsky, D.D.S. ... Yes, here you are. Go right on ahead through those pearly whites up there.'

'Kevin was plagued since childhood by fears of a monster under his bed, but eventually overcame it until he and his monster became inseparable best friends.'

'They've been relocated because hell is full.'

"He was an amazing ventriloquist. Nobody knew just how amazing until now."

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."

Memorial Day

"It was heaven before this."

'I've been tagged for study of my migratory habits.'

'We're not actually full, we just keep a line outside to make the place look good...'

'Pig flu??!'

"I'm trying to call my boss to tell him I have to miss the meeting but I can't get any service."

"That brings us to your search history."

The Uncertainty of the Afterlife...

'Yes, that's my final answer!'

"Just one more question - Do you prefer Monty Python or Benny Hill?"