Humorous Eulogist Gifts

Epitaph: I Will Test You When I Get There

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

The game comes first...

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

Fisherman Funneral

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

O'Leary's Monuments

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."

Jesus Fish

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'I believe it's a snuff box.'

Snake funerals.

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.