Etiquette Humor Fan Gifts

'I'd like to see you in my office, Brenda.'

Man crawling onto island sees sign saying no shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The Brothers Grime

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

Only One Item or Fewer.