Etiquette Humor Fan Gifts

'I'd like to see you in my office, Brenda.'

Man crawling onto island sees sign saying no shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

No, I don

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

tRUMp, Pirate President

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Only One Item or Fewer.