Ethics Committee Member Gifts

'Oh, it seems he found a way how we can outsmart the ethics committee!'

'Oh yeah! I'm a hell of a lot further beyond reproach than you are!'

"I haven't had a minute to myself recently. I'm on one committee which is trying to determine when human life begins, another committee searching for the meaning of life, and a third committee which is trying to determine when life is legal over."

"Now, the way I ran my ethics committee..."

Stem Cell Research and Ethics

'He thinks because he was chairman of a Government Ethics Committee, he ought to pass through with no questions asked'

'You may be chairman of the board, but the ethics committee would still like to talk to you about your trip to Vegas.'

Senate ethics committee - no fatties!

'Well, you tell the Parliament Ethics Committee that their job is to take care of Parliament's ethics!'

'Oh yeah! I'm a hell of a lot further beyond reproach than you are!'

"Where, you may wonder, is our moral compass."

"Er, uhhh, um...nobody here but us chickens!"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

Anonymous Donations

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"