Ethics Advisor Gifts

'John's in charge of advising us on ethical matters, but to be honest, I've never had much confidence in him!'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

Sen. Krupt. You have to spend money to make money. That's a cute way of soliciting bribes.

'Well, you can tell the Parliament Ethics Committee that their job is to take care of Parliament's ethics!'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

Slavery Reparations

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

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Sportswasher's

Memory Content is King

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'