Ethics Adviser Gifts

"Does this apply to me?"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Squeezing the Free Press.

Slavery Reparations

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

Anonymous Donations

Sportswasher's

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

Arms Industry increases sales by 8.5%

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

An early encounter between progressive management philosophy and the law of the jungle.

'You may be chairman of the board, but the ethics committee would still like to talk to you about your trip to Vegas.'

"We'll discuss the ethics of the matter if you're sure you want to open that can of worms."

Senate ethics committee - no fatties!

The Hypocrisy of the Smoking Ban

Cleaning Out the WildLife for New Residential Construction.

'Do everything ethically ... within reason, of course.'

'Then it's agreed...We put the greater good on the back burner.'

'The ethics consultant said our business conduct is immoral. I immediately took action and fired the guy.'

Corporate Responsibility - All front with nothing behind it.

'I thought the whistle-blowers showed up after we were finished.'

AAA Cloning Laboratory: Think Twice.

'There may come a time when you feel the need to be a 'whistle blower' and it's vital that you are properly prepared.'

'Sorry, but we already know who we're going to hire for our new ethics director. We just posted the job for show.'

"We're an oversight committee, but we do it more in the sense of overlooking."