Ethical Genie Lover Pillows

"Your wish is my command... as long as it doesn't break the law or harm children, animals, or the environment."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

"Again with the wishes? I do and do for you all I ever hear is 'I wish this. I wish that. Gimme, gimme, gimme'!"

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

"Oh, Genie. I'm ready to make my final wish now."

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

'I really don't think you've evolved enough for nuclear fusion... How about the wheel, instead?'

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

"We get three wishes. Let's not waste them on something like 'Better coffee in the break room'."

"'I wish for this...I wish for that...' No one ever asks what I want!"

"Okay, if I can't use my last wish to wish for another three wishes, can I wish that I find another magic lamp?"