Eternal Gamer Gifts

They called him the Olympic Flame because he never went out.

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

Elderly People

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Jenga!!!

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Jump-Rope Rhymes For Adults

"Hey, dad! How about I find a video game of this we can play together?"

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Arcade Game Baseball.

'I'm bored with the Sisyphus channel. Switch to the Tantalus channel.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

school kids playing conkers

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

Atlas holds up a football.

Candy Land for Adults

I was expecting something a little more advanced

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

'The batteries must be dead.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

25 years later, the Guitar Hero Band gets back together.

"Do you ever wanna get back in the game?"

Why are you so hostile toward books? Um, where to start: The waste of paper, the lack of multimedia, the one-way nature of the medium. One-way? Authors stuff ideas down your throat. You can't interact with their ideas. You can't crowdsource the direction, or refine the plot or do anything active. You can't shoot anyone. Shoot? I might play a shooting app called Angry Books if the books you were destroying were cute.

"I think he's trying to make a money out of us..."

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

Vicar carrying a games console called a 'PrayStation 3'.

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."