Eternal Fairway Explorers Gifts

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Golfers lost on the road

'You're away, Doc!'

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'Y'know what? Maybe we should eliminate your backswing altogether.'

'Location, location, location.'

Selling to the devil.

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

Wanted to live forever, died trying.

Fish golfing.

'Where do you see yourself i 500 or say, 5000 millennium?'

Mother Nature does her natural selection.

Philosophical Doomsayers.

Scenic Route.

"It's amazing how some people manage to make all of eternity seem even longer."

'That's quite an offset on your driver. Is that a new design?' 'No, it's an old design from beating it into the ground after years of lousy drives.'

'Eternity? Is that more than a decade?'

"Just which part of, 'Till death do us part' don't you get, Arthur?"

"Eventually, Howard wants to dump himself in the Atlantic and serve as an artificial reef for fish."

'I understand he's here on a business trip.'