Eternal Fairway Explorers T-Shirts

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'You're away, Doc!'

Golfers lost on the road

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

'Y'know what? Maybe we should eliminate your backswing altogether.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'Location, location, location.'

Selling to the devil.

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

Wanted to live forever, died trying.

'Where do you see yourself i 500 or say, 5000 millennium?'

Fish golfing.

Mother Nature does her natural selection.

"It's amazing how some people manage to make all of eternity seem even longer."

Scenic Route.

Philosophical Doomsayers.

'That's quite an offset on your driver. Is that a new design?' 'No, it's an old design from beating it into the ground after years of lousy drives.'

'Eternity? Is that more than a decade?'

"Just which part of, 'Till death do us part' don't you get, Arthur?"

Spiritualist. Out of business. I lost the ability to contact the departed. It's like clothes. Some people are a "medium" when young, but not when we get older.

You'll like playing golf up here. It's a private course only open to those who get past the pearly gates. The ball flies a long way because of the altitude! With wings, there's no need for golf carts. And the best thing is, you have all of eternity to improve your score! That still won't be enough time!

"Eventually, Howard wants to dump himself in the Atlantic and serve as an artificial reef for fish."