Escrow Officer Gifts

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Your appreciation of the Dutch National Soccer Team is interfering with your duties as an escrow officer.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"What's a debenture?"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

Elections

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Historic Bank Jobs.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Wait a minute....!

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"Your repayments start now!"

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'