Loan Officers Gifts

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

"There's a plus side to the credit crunch...My 'lenders elbow' has cleared up!"

'Do you offer credit for the smaller businessman?'

'I see you have no collateral.'

"Congratulations, Mr. Pettifer - you've got through to the second round..."

A beggar in the loans department of a bank wears a sign which reads; Please give.

ACME LOAN COMPANY, 'Sorry, Kid - we don't do lunch money.'

'This loan will put you in debt over your head, but you do get a free snorkel.'

'It will interest you to learn that your bank denied my credit application for reasons of character.'

"How on earth can you justify the kind of interest rates that you charge?"

'The bank returned our loan application.'

'This is big ... a bank is actually approving a loan.'

Today's Banking Industry: "We're too big to regulate!"

"Simplified application form? This IS the simplified application form..."

"On the plus side, your business plan is refreshingly direct."

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

"How much would you like to lend us, Mr. Hewitt?"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"What's a debenture?"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Historic Bank Jobs.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'