Escargot Expert Gifts

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Fishing Tales

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

Alarmistclock

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"We've had to introduce measures lately to stop the entomology department from knocking off early on a Friday."

'...and that's the one that got away!'

'The escargots are underdone.'

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

Seniors Pro (putt putt) Golf Tour.

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

'Looks like rain. I'm finishing for the day!'

"If you need something stronger we can bring out the defibrillator."

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

'Nutcrackers! I take it this is the first time you've had snails, sir?'

'Yes, you're right... This dinner invitation from the French Embassy is highly suspicious!'

'Saline implants? That'd kill you! I'd take anything Rick says with a grain of salt- But I suppose that'd kill you too.'

Snail ordering 'Hommes.'

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

Submarine Disguise

"I'm really in the mood for a good drama tonight."

'That's right, sir - they ate the salad.'

Snail Gumball Machine.

"And now we come to the award for Escapologist of The Year. . ."