Escargot Appreciator Gifts

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Fish mobsters.

David Bowie

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

Cat with Crown.

'You'll like this, sir. Instead of the usual boring bio, this year I've done your creation myth.'

'The escargots are underdone.'

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Dear, will you sprint down to the store and get a box of wheat germ and a pint of yoghurt?"

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"Can you keep a secret?"

Child found in the Street is Brought into Shelter at a Ragged School

Michelangelo's David

Yes, dear, it's a very good pearl for your first try.

Exit laughing

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

'Nutcrackers! I take it this is the first time you've had snails, sir?'

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

'Yes, you're right... This dinner invitation from the French Embassy is highly suspicious!'

'Saline implants? That'd kill you! I'd take anything Rick says with a grain of salt- But I suppose that'd kill you too.'

Snail ordering 'Hommes.'

Here Lies Bill Smith, Victim of a Mad Axe Murderer, Rest in Pieces

"Of course I won. I was already a winner. I didn't even have to run the race."

'That's right, sir - they ate the salad.'

Snail Gumball Machine.

The End.