Escape Plot Enthusiast T-Shirts

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"It's all about putting work into the right perspective...and this helps me!"

FISH ESCAPE.

"I'd like a 'change of address' card."

Houdini's Dog

10 commandments

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

"I know I said you could retitle your office, but..."

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

Christmas escape plan

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Mountain escalator.

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Dating... In the age of the coronavirus

Mid-list Author Magazine

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

"And just the name alone: 'feral parakeets'... I mean, how cool is that?"

A sign giving directions to 'it all' and 'away from it all'.

"I'll drill a hole in the side and we'll be FREE!!"

"We've got a real feisty one here. We caught it trying to cross the stream behind the store."

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

Prison Escape

Pure unfiltered escapism vs abject despair

Patient walking out of hospital.

"Turkeys don't just build escape tunnels without a little help."

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."