Escalator Rider Gifts

'Do these stairs seem unusually long to you?'

Skeleton on an out of order escalator.

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Very Difficult Conversations

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

Mother Nature's Wild Ride 2007.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Thumbing a Lift.

Going Down?

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Elevator charge $1.00.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

The guy who got in on the ground floor

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

Face Painting.

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."

August 9, 1857: The World's First Elevator Demonstration

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

A Fork-lift.

'YOU try telling him!'

'Going up?'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

Sheep Escalator

"This thing is so slow!"