Epic Reader Gifts

Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace

Walt Whitman

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Cariactures

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

The Salmon Run

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

wattle covers

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

'E-books?'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

Spam in Hell.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Which one's yours?"

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Mou...Man trap!

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'