Epic Story Enthusiast Gifts

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

J. R. R. Tolkien

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Audio Books

Warrior Woman

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

Meet the pop-up author.

"It's post-gingerbread."

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

Proceedings of the club

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

"'Moby-Dick'? Again?"

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"No, I want a story I already know all the words to."

'Gramma, can you help with my homework?'

Homer

"There are too many starfish for you to save. How can you possibly hope to make a difference?"

Food Chain Gang

"Good lord, we found the queen!"

"I say we just wheel it into the city. What's the worst that can happen?""

"The bunny, …. May we assume that's you?"

"The oath according to the Tolkien Pixie God of Goblinara doesn't apply here Mr. Brown."