Epic Fantasy Enthusiast Gifts

"The oath according to the Tolkien Pixie God of Goblinara doesn't apply here Mr. Brown."

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

A Fairytale Update

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

ET Mishap

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Raincloud Umbrella

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Late BroomStick

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Swiss army knife

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"Where the wild things were."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Primitive magician

"What the hell took so long?"

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror