Environmental Reporter Gifts

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Gay Times...

Press Freedom

The interested bystanders.

Difference of Opinion

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

A little bird told me...

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Evolution.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'He was a great writer'

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

Turkey, present day...

Newspaper suicide.

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'