"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."
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"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."
It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.
"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."
News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!
'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'
"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"
"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."
Press Freedom
Gay Times...
The interested bystanders.
Difference of Opinion
"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"
'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'
'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'
'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'
The Jolly Green Giant Squid
A little bird told me...
There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.
'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'
"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"
Evolution.
"You're either lying or not telling the truth."
"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."
Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders
'He was a great writer'
Reporter #6: television.
"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."
"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."
'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'
"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."
"What's with the Tim Russert act?"
Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).
Turkey, present day...
Newspaper suicide.
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