Environmental Punster Pillows

'Trust me. He's far more effective than any drain cleaner and he doesn't contain any environmentally dangerous toxins.'

Give Chlorophyll.

'I don't understand why they make such a big deal about acid rain. Can't we just counteract it with alkaline rain?'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Mystery of the Poets

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of:

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'I think therefore I ham.'

"Norman is an island."

'A tortoise is coming toward us' 'I newt' 'I toad you' 'Great, I'm on Walden Pun.'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'