Eco-friendly Punster Pillows

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

Tree house.

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'Is the water cold?'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"YOU pass him on the left."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Hamlet.

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

Hands off my IP

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

Give Chlorophyll.

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

International Carrot Day April 4th

'To save the state the expense of a trial, I thought I'd run off to Spain.'

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

Shark in the swimming pool.

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Vegan Insomnia

'Trust me. He's far more effective than any drain cleaner and he doesn't contain any environmentally dangerous toxins.'

Surfin' the web.

Mobile Holmes.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'